it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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