I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
