Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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