someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
