My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
