I want to make a zoo with you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
