watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
