She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
