$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
