Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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