If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
