This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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