The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
