I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You've changed since you got that strap on
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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