You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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