im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
