I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im part way to drunk.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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