I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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