I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
