bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize