His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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