at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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