this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
