I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
