I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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