I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
