i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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