I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
