If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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