How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
