guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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