she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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