Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
