Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
