I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
