Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
