If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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