does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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