But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
