If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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