His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
