Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
