left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
