I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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