did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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