I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
