I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
