Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
