why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
