I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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