I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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