Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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