if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
