It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He shit in the fireplace
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
