our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize