It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
