I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
